As I enter this new season it is time for me to do a self check and see if I am being my best self?! Am I aware of who I am and who those around me are? As I look at my Relational Maturity am I primarily an infant, a child, an adult, or a parent, or an elder? Does my relational maturity come close to matching my physical age and maturity? After all, when someone looks at me they expect me to act and be consistent with what my physical appearance portrays. So to be my very best self, I need to be spiritually alive and as Relationally Mature as I am physically. As a relationally mature parent or elder, I must be calm, consistently showing love in all my words, actions, and reactions.
However, as I look at my self and my home, I see some serious flaws in the environment I have been creating. There is anxiety, and an uneasy dread while waiting for the “next shoe to drop” or the “next incident to occur.” So, what is going on? If I am a “child” I will insist very loudly that I am in the right and doing the right things. If there is trouble or I am angry and reacting strongly, it is because you or someone else started it. “You make me react this way because you did or didn’t do something.” I am continually the victim and not responsible for my reactions. Sadly, we even have a society that promotes this mentality.
It is most likely that there are also alcohol, drugs or other addictions involved. As a “child” I also have a very limited capacity. Keep in mind here that I am speaking as a 20-70 year old adult who has the relational maturity of a 4 to 11 year old child. This is where the majority of our society lives. No wonder we have chaos in our homes.
Soo… What is the answer in order for me to take care of my life and build a stable, solid, loving home? It is for me to mature relationally to the level of a parent in order for me to BE loving, consistent, calm, addiction free, in the midst of the chaos of those around me. As I mature, I will have developed a lot of capacity in order to handle the turmoil or unfair abuse I have thrown at me. I am not easily overwhelmed and I am now able to return to joy from overwhelm and BE the peace in the storm and the gentle protector as I walk with Jesus in the midst of my home and family. I am responsible for setting the tone for the atmosphere of my home!