Am I maturing relationally? Do I just hope so or can I really tell that I am different in a good way!? It is a really nice feeling to look at myself and realize that I am better and more mature than I was 5 years ago and even 5 months ago. I am currently in my 3rd year of training with Life Model Works and Thrive training. There has been great upward maturity growth that continues in my life!
Sooo …. How can I tell and what do I see that is different in my life? First off, I find myself often ashamed of myself as I look back on my actions, reactions, and behavior during a certain event or period of my life. My reaction now is not that way at all. I had certain patterns in my ways of thinking in the past that justified what I did or didn’t do. Mostly, it was not my fault or issue, but it was my parents or my wife or the way that I was brought up that justified my actions. That thinking is the thinking level of the relational maturity of an infant and child, which I was at the time. It now makes me feel embarrassed, and I think; “Oh my, if I could live my life over, I certainly wouldn’t do what I did because I am not that way any more.” Having child maturity at the time, I was not able to see all the pain that I caused others by my actions. I now realize that it was often out of my own pain that I in turn inflicted pain on those around me. How, sad and embarrassing.
Secondly, and to my pleasant surprise, I no longer find myself getting upset and agitated when someone else isn’t doing or following the rules as I think they should be. Like a driver speeding and driving recklessly. I now see them for the relational infant or child that they are. They are not bad, they are just not the mature person I expected. I am not the one to correct them by yelling at them as a child might do, but, I teach as a mature parent and elder. I show them, and everyone else, how to live life by my daily example of openly living the life of a mature parent and elder.
Thirdly, I am finding that I can be around people who formerly irritated or annoy me. I can actually attune to what they are experiencing and feeling. I now am able to place gentle boundaries around myself or the situation. As I bond with others it is from a love base. I clearly see my defined role and maturity status in life as a mature parent and elder. I live in that category and do not change lanes and return to a child or infant level of relational maturity. Staying in my clearly defined category (parent, elder,) gives me way more peace within myself while doing life with others. I now find myself enjoying being the gentle protector of my family and those around me!