One of the easiest ways to check my Relational Maturity (RM) is to check my responses. In general my thought process to see how I am doing is to check and see if I am doing all the correct and “right” things. I like to check the scripture for in it I think I have life if I am following the rules and principles. It’s the checklist approach most generally used at a child level of relational maturity. However, knowledge does not give me life. A rich young ruler came to Jesus and told him everything he was doing correctly. Jesus responded with; “You are close, but you are missing it, life is not found in the rules. Go sell and give away what you have and come follow Me.” Matt.19-16-22
A better way to check my relational maturity is to check my responses and reactions. The response of the rich young ruler was to walk away because he felt it was too hard to follow Jesus. Following Jesus in this case, meant giving up trust in his finances and trusting Jesus to give him life. The knowledge he had received would have become wisdom if his reaction had been to follow that advice. And, as a result he would have found life! He also would have grown into a relationally mature parent and elder which only he could choose to do.
Sooo, where does life come from? It comes from my relationship with Jesus! The rich young ruler had asked a sincere question and Jesus saw him as the relationally mature adult he was who was trying to to make a deal with God. But Jesus called him to mature one more step and become a relationally mature parent, where he would be OK with laying down his life for those around him. “A good shepherd (parent, elder) gladly lays down his life for his sheep (infants and children).” John10:15
Remember Abraham taking Isaac up to sacrifice? Well, Abraham passed God’s test that day and showed that he was the relationally mature parent and elder of Israel! Sooo …. What is my reaction to the life and death struggle I am facing! Will I go away sorrowfully or will I be wise and find life and maturity by laying my life down for those around me?!