“I will take care of you and protect you!” ….. For most men who are the typical American male at a child level of relational maturity; This means that I provide for you financially and often loudly roar about the house keeping everyone in line and in their proper roles. There is generally a sense of strife, insecurity, and a fear of vulnerability as there is exposure to BEEPS, harmful situations, unexpected outbursts of emotions, or violence. As a result those in the house do no feel safe or valued. There is often an attempt to hold things together through finances. This is a tough house to live in.
For most women who are at a child or an adult level of relational maturity, Her desire is to be treasured, valued, and protected by being covered softly with the gentle protection of attunement, understanding, and the consistent love that comes from a relationally mature parent. All those in the home are valued. Financial provision is important, but not the primary thing. Scripture gives us the illustration of how Jesus desires to gather us under his soft wings, and provide safety and protection from predators, the storms of life and exposures that would harm us. We receive life from Him! We usually call this a Home. A safe place where I Belong, I am cherished, with Love and Peace reigning here! As I continue to mature, this is the Home I am building!
Note that RM (Relationally Mature) infants or children do not have the capability of establishing a good home unless they mature to a parent and elder level of relational maturity. I know.. I tried.. The more rules and louder yelling of a child-parent won’t fix it. And silence won’t fix it. Heart transformation takes place as relational maturity takes place.