If I am going to play beautiful music I need to practice. If I am going to play beautiful music in harmony with you, I have to practice my keys and then I need to practice harmonizing my keys with yours. We then practice playing together in harmony! Making joyful music together!!
Since Joy is relational, I practice building joy bonds; I want to have relationships that form around the type of love that wants to specifically be with you. These bonds are not built around pleasure.
Pleasure is fueled by dopamine, and does not care about the effects of the pleasure. Marriages formed around pleasure will always be looking for the next pleasure. This is why so may immature marriages fail.
Joy bonds are formed around oxytocin which personalizes joy. It brings a secure, safe, attachment. I want to be with you. I don’t see you as pleasure but as the person I want to be with. You bring me joy and I bring you joy. ….. The joy of being with me!
My place of connection is the joy bond of being together, maturing together, and doing all of life together!