How have I matured relationally? This has been a long and often scary and painful journey for me. It has not been quick and easy. I am sharing with you 13 key individual steps that freed me to be able to mature from a relational infant and child into a relationally mature parent and elder. As I mature I better relate to everyone! Life makes so much more sense and I am so much more connected and joyful! This meditation is number 12 in a series.
This is Key number 12: Overwhelm; How do I deal with being overwhelmed? How do I recognize and handle the situation when I am overwhelming you?
Overwhelm is Intensity of emotions that is beyond my capacity to carry. An overload. ….. Glassy eyed stares …… Zoned out …… Attention gone ……. Wanting to be left alone ….. As a relational child, I did not understand this and tried to “push through” with my thoughts, words, and activities. This only strained the relationship further.
The activity of my brain runs smoothly as long as my emotions do not become more intense than the capacity of my system can handle. A healthy, well-trained, mature brain has lots of capacity. A poorly trained, immature, traumatized, brain has low capacity. The person is easily overwhelmed or further traumatized by emotions that a stronger more mature brain would comfortably handle.
If I am not a relationally mature adult or parent, I am not able to attune to what is happening within you as your RCs (relational circuits) shut down. When I started seeing overload and overwhelm in others and in myself, I realized that I was maturing! I now just need to be able to return to joy and help you return to joy with our RCs on once again!