How did I mature relationally? This has been a long and often scary and painful journey for me. It has not been quick and easy. I am sharing with you some key individual steps that freed me to be able to mature from a relational infant and child into a relationally mature parent and elder. As I mature I better relate to everyone! Life makes so much more sense and is so much more connected! This meditation is number 9 in a series.
This is Key number 9: I was an infant stuck in “make believe land” ….. My make believe self gives vision with possibilities while my real self practically looks at the circumstances and the consequences of my possible actions. When functioning properly as an adult, this is a part of my brain that is very useful in making good decisions.
When carried on into life by an adult with “infant” level maturity, the result of this line of thinking will have disastrous results, especially in relationships. I used “make believe land” as one of my primary go to places for fun and relaxation. This was a continuation of my infant thinking and my endless times of playing. The result was disaster in my marriages.
The person not living in “make believe land” sees it as stupid and crazy and how could you even think that way, it doesn’t make any sense …… “I am going to be rich so I will buy whatever I want” ….. I am smart so I don’t have to physically work …… sex is fun so let’s find some fun partners ….. I am superman so it’s ok for me to drive 100mph ….. drugs and alcohol don’t affect me so I will try some ….. I am lucky so I can beat the odds on these risky investments …… I am green so I am privileged …… I am blessed so I can live however I want ……
So,,,,, Am I evil and bad? No …. if my heart isn’t bad….. What I really need is to mature and lay aside childish ways. I need to come to my senses and live real life as an adult and parent using all of my brain (both halves). Living in “make believe land” will form addictions and false reality that will need to be dealt with.
I am thankful that I now know what had been going on with me and that I have matured far enough so that I am no longer living in that misery! Oh, yes, now it all makes sense!
Note: for more information on “make believe land” and the “as if”, view a previous meditation and added material in Teachings on this site.