When someone close to me dies or leaves me … How do I feel? …. Awful, painful, depressed, alone …. This pain is the most intense relational pain that we feel. If I am an infant or child the trauma can create serious emotional issues. If I am physically an adult but at a relational infant or child level, I will see the absence of the person who died or left as a loss. My life was being drawn from them. Many divorced will immediately remarry in order to have a new source. Many long term spouses die soon after the first spouse dies.
As a parent who is alive in the Lord, I feel the physical loss but I still have life and a reason to live because I see physical death as a passage from this life into the next way better life. So, is it loss or is it life? Is this the time I need to relationally mature?
Life is definitely the winner. Jesus came to bring us real life. I am also to bring life to all, especially to those close to me. However, when I was not relationally mature to a parent level, I struggled with the real life situation concept because as a relational infant and child, I was continually trying to receive life from those around me. When those people left me or died, it was very painful because that source was no longer immediately available to me. I found that I had to have Jesus as my brother who is always with me. I will never lose that connection in this life or the next. He is my constant source and companion! This also allows me to be a parent giving and bringing life to those close to me. As I have aged and losses have occurred, I have had an urgency to mature and be closer to Jesus who daily gives me life! I now enjoy being a parent and bringing life to those around me.